Seasons of Friendship

Tribute to My Friend Pramila
When I entered Timpany School, Visakhapatnam to start IX grade, I did not know what friendship was. It may sound strange but from nursery class to VIII grade I had been shifted from school to school seven times due to my father’s employment and in no school did I have the leisure to move from acquaintance to friendship with any individual.

The first day in Timpany when I saw elegant, smartly dressed Pramila (even the uniform took on a special grace on her), I could only gape at her as a creature who had descended from outer space. Of course the class boasted of the glamorous Shagarika Lahiri (who later became a model for Ponds) but it was Pramila S David, with her gentleness and affection, who walked into my heart and at that time in life, I did not even imagine that we would travel such a long way together (four more years to celebrate the Golden Jubilee).

Pramila, from a strict orthodox Protestant Christian family with a charming mother, handsome father and seven siblings, filled me with envy and later as we became closer taught me the household discipline. Her mother’s strict apportioning of household work among the children and her father’s prayerfulness were like a real life enactment of “Little Women” by Louisa M Alcott. Her keen intellect, quick grasp of facts, dainty neatness, her unstinting loyalty to family and friends alike, observance of Sunday Sabbath even before an examination, her ready wit, her willingness to help, meticulous attention to detail and her keen intellect have amazed me at every juncture of my life. It is unbelievable that in these long years of association we have never had a single difference of opinion nor have we squabbled even once - my daughters of course are convinced that it is due to her Virgoan trait.

We travelled from school to St. Joseph's College for Women, where for three years we were inseparables with most of my weekends (as a hostelite) spent in her warm home. After graduation we parted to continue our postgraduation - she in Andhra University and I in SV University but we caught up with each other again when I joined St. Joseph's as a lecturer. Her tenure in AU and mine in SJC kept us in touch with each other continuously personally as well as professionally. She helped me to complete my M.Phil and my PhD while I was the proud teacher of her eldest daughter Sudipta who is my protege of sorts. Dr V.S.Bose her husband and Mr Krishnamurthy, my ever-suffering husband also became friends and the bonds (we like to think fondly) has been carried over to our children.

She has been my guide (personally as well professionally), advisor, philosopher, confidante, a shoulder to cry on, sounding board and much more than what words can describe. I am indeed grateful to God for a friend like Pramila whose description can be completed only by quoting the bible-

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.…Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come… She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." - Proverbs 31:10-31 (King James Version)

Decorated Thresholds

In the past and may be even now in some of the villages and smaller towns of South India, women folk were in the habit of decorating the door posts of the entrance totheir houses with a great deal of creativity and aesthetic.

On the eve of any festival as also on every wednesday or thursday, the women of the household would apply turmeric paste to the cleaned lower foot or so of the door post on either side of the entrance. This would form a background on which intricate designs were drawn using rice flour and kumkum. The designs and motifs were highly symbolic and each family would have a special one. The turmeric may have helped to prevent attack of the wood by pests like termite, while the design themselves were like lamp posts identifying the family residing therein. Other women who came to invite them for religious functions would put the kumkum mark on the door post design if the mistress was not available in the home when they came to invite her. The top portion of the door post would be decorated with mango leaves as also flowers to give a festive look while doing their bit to purify the air within the house by the process of transpiration.

With change in occupation of the women as well as due to urbanisation door posts are now decorated with paint and the lintels with plastic flowers. Those of the younger generation are hardly aware of this custom and even if they are aware they do not know the traditional design that hall marked their family once upon a time.