Parents – Children’s Cheerleaders

An excited 6 yrs old Kannan ran out to the sunny balcony, thrilled to see the round red sun in the horizon.  Just as he was telling his grandma, “Look! Look, Ammamma! The sun is looking like an orange, was this how it looked when Hanuman zoomed to catch it?” Even before he could complete his sentence, his mother Lakshmi came bustling up to him and said, “Come on, Come on, let’s run through “Suraj Chacha” once again. “Not again!” was Kannan’s reaction. There followed a 25 minutes exchange between the mother and the son during which she coaxed, cajoled, threatened and finally bribed him with the promise of a  doughnut if he recited the Hindi poem properly ….! All the joy of seeing the orange sun evaporated as Kannan got ready to recite “Suraj Chacha” during the Hindi online class (not his favourite at most times) under the gimlet eyes of his mother.

I am quite sure this is happening in many Indian homes today thanks to the online classes (an offshoot of the Corona pandemic and subsequent Lockdown) which are being beamed directly to the homes, exposing the teacher, the children and their parents to each other. Classes are taking place five days a week and to benefit from these classes, students are using a variety of devices.

A virtual survey was conducted between Friday, May 15 and Sunday, May 17, 2020, to assess the experience of 5 - 18 yrs, old school children, using a questionnaire of about 40 questions, distributed through WhatsApp and email. Data received from 155 students across 13 states evenly distributed across the country, revealed that 87.2% of the respondents are studying in private-run schools and only 12.8% are either from the Centre and state-run government or government-aided schools. During these classes parents, who are required to be around children during the session (especially of the younger children) face the greatest challenge. This also poses another problem for the children since the parents cannot be just observers but try to become loco magister or adjunct teacher.

A survey of more than 1800 Australian parents and guardians by Australian Scholarships Group and Monash University indicated that 80 per cent of Indian as well as other Asian parents have high expectations for their child’s educational accomplishments. According to Bapat, urban Indian parenting practices mostly belong to the class known as "helicopter parenting", "hover-parenting" or "intensive parenting” characterized by deep involvement in every aspect of their education, extra-curricular activities and free time. Such parents do not assist in the development of their children’s freedom since they tend to supervise, help or control their schoolwork, tasks at home as well as their social interactions physically or mentally. Indian parents, in general, get hyper about their children’s academic performance.

In the pre-Corona days the children escaped this helicopter parenting during their school hours though the mothers and sometimes the fathers exhorted them to be “first in the class” though they know full well that all the children cannot be first in the class and someone has to take the second, third and other places. Earlier their skills of the 3Rs, asking and answering questions, reciting or orating were witnessed by their classmates and teacher – with whom they were comfortable. Their performance would vary according to their mood, physical conditions and other factors.

                                 

Now their performance is under scrutiny being watched as they are by their parent, other parents, classmates and teacher, who cannot even offer encouraging smiles (as happens in a typical classroom situation). The child would surely experience stage fear but some stressed parents start berating the child about every mistake he may have made. This upbraiding of the child is due to their high expectations aggravated by watching other children, who may have performed better as also by the common syndrome of “keeping up with the Joneses”. 

If the parents are not supportive, it may leave an everlasting scar on the children’s psyche. It is important for parents to realize that they are not meant to be homeschoolers in conjunction with the teacher who is the guiding force in the subject matter. A parent should know when to bend in and bend out of their child’s learning experience. Parents should be the greatest boosters and motivators of their children.  

“Child development does not mean developing your child into the person you think they 

should be, but helping them develop into the best person they are meant to be.”

                                                                          ― Toni Sorenson

Come, Savour the Many Indian Books

About fifty years back “Gone with the Wind”, "Jane Eyre" and Anna Karenina” were three books that all young women were advised – Nay! Exhorted to read!. Very few such wise and sensible ideas are given to the younger generation nowadays. More is the pity! Books (to repeat a well-known adage are the best friends a man, woman or child can have. Books provide company, offer consolation and serve as confidantes! They do not get offended, they need not go away and yet they continue to delight one in whatever mood one may be in, without encroaching! The earliest books were developed by the Egyptians, who stuck together individual papyrus sheets to form a long scroll, with rollers attached on either end so that one could furl one roller while unfurling the other. In China, India and other oriental countries, narrow strips of wood or leaf were tied together with cords to create ‘books’.

In Assyria sheets of wax dyed yellow, framed in wood or ivory and inscribed with a bone or bronze stylus were hinged on one side to make a fan-folded book. The Romans used to parchment paper and later most of ancient Europe began to create books with parchment or vellum(made from animal hide) with a backing of leather. The discovery of paper in 105A.D is ascribed to a Chinese courtier named Ts’ai Lun. Production of book was still a laborious process since it had to be done painstakingly by hand. Books were rare and not everyone could possess one. The discovery and development of the printing technique by Guttenberg took the tedium out of bookmaking and books became available for all and sundry. Indians were lucky because they have the best of both the Worlds – English Literature, the legacy of the British and the books of their forefathers. Ramacharitmanas (Hindi), Silappadikkaram(Tamil), Kanyasulkam(Telugu), Chemmeen (Malayalam) are a few gems that come to one’s mind but by no means is this list representative or exhaustive. The list of inspiring and scintillating books in the Indian languages is unending. It would be a worthwhile exercise to acquire at least a reading knowledge of one’s mother tongue(obligatory) and as many other Indian languages as possible in order to taste the nectar that is at hand but not difficult to get at because one has not made the effort.

 “Reading a book is only the first step in the relationship. The contents of someone’s bookcase are a part of his /her history like an ancestral portrait.”-  Anatole Bryand

Do make the effort to enrich your history!