As the train waited on the platform restless to begin its journey; passengers were hurrying to get into their compartments – some looked happy because they were travelling to their loved ones while others were sad at the imminent separation. The bitter sobs and tearful goodbyes of the two teenage girls, travelling with their mother, while taking leave of their aunt after their summer vacations touched a nostalgic chord in the hearts of most onlookers since emotional goodbyes accompanied by tears have become a rare phenomenon in today's World.
Leave-taking while setting out on a journey is only one of the many that we encounter through out our life. The earliest of these departures occurs when a child enters the nursery school, bidding farewell to infancy, to the mother and to the safe cocoon that encased him/her in love and affection. That leave-taking is marked by howls and tantrums on the part of the child and a heavy heart and may be even hot tears for the mother.Between this entry into the school and departure from it are several other separations and partings – some of short duration, some long, some temporary and some permanent. As one moves up from class to class, favorite teachers have to be left behind, friends move away from one’s life either to other schools or to other towns or just drift away – each leave-taking is marked by heart break and a sense of desolation.Farewell parties in schools, colleges, educational institutions and offices are usually emotional because it is a progress from known to unknown, from familiar to unknown.
From teenage to marriage every person experiences affairs of the heart – some expressed while others remain unarticulated. Each of these dalliances has to end until the “one and only one” is identified and linked up with. Each severance is, however heartrending.The most poignant moment of leave-taking for a woman is on the occasion of her departure from her parent’s home – for her it symbolizes the severing of links with her ancestral lineage and allegiance in one stroke. The Bidaai is an integral part of the wedding rituals of all North Indian weddings whether it be the Kashmiri Shia Muslim or North Indian Protestant or the Bengali Brahmin. Songs, on screen and off, highlight the pathos and sensitivity of the moment.
Of course the most painful of all is the final leave-taking when our loved ones depart from this earth and we have to “let go”.Each culture has developed its own methods to help people cope with the sorrow caused by the separation from loved ones. Rituals associated with farewell are important because they strengthen the bonds of love and loyalty between individuals. They provide pleasant memories to which one may return when one is sad and depressed.
A simple velosthanandi, touching the feet of elders as a mark of respect, an affectionate hug for the youngsters a patting of the head, putting a tilak on the forehead or any other special gesture that a family may have developed helps people to reiterate their commitment to each other when separation is imminent for a short or long time and helps to strengthen the bonds of kinship or friendship.It helps one to reiaffirm the message popularised by Bollywood "Kabhi Alvida Naa Kahana"!
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