Come, Savour the Many Indian Books

About fifty years back “Gone with the Wind”, "Jane Eyre" and Anna Karenina” were three books that all young women were advised – Nay! Exhorted to read!. Very few such wise and sensible ideas are given to the younger generation nowadays. More is the pity! Books (to repeat a well-known adage are the best friends a man, woman or child can have. Books provide company, offer consolation and serve as confidantes! They do not get offended, they need not go away and yet they continue to delight one in whatever mood one may be in, without encroaching! The earliest books were developed by the Egyptians, who stuck together individual papyrus sheets to form a long scroll, with rollers attached on either end so that one could furl one roller while unfurling the other. In China, India and other oriental countries, narrow strips of wood or leaf were tied together with cords to create ‘books’.

In Assyria sheets of wax dyed yellow, framed in wood or ivory and inscribed with a bone or bronze stylus were hinged on one side to make a fan-folded book. The Romans used to parchment paper and later most of ancient Europe began to create books with parchment or vellum(made from animal hide) with a backing of leather. The discovery of paper in 105A.D is ascribed to a Chinese courtier named Ts’ai Lun. Production of book was still a laborious process since it had to be done painstakingly by hand. Books were rare and not everyone could possess one. The discovery and development of the printing technique by Guttenberg took the tedium out of bookmaking and books became available for all and sundry. Indians were lucky because they have the best of both the Worlds – English Literature, the legacy of the British and the books of their forefathers. Ramacharitmanas (Hindi), Silappadikkaram(Tamil), Kanyasulkam(Telugu), Chemmeen (Malayalam) are a few gems that come to one’s mind but by no means is this list representative or exhaustive. The list of inspiring and scintillating books in the Indian languages is unending. It would be a worthwhile exercise to acquire at least a reading knowledge of one’s mother tongue(obligatory) and as many other Indian languages as possible in order to taste the nectar that is at hand but not difficult to get at because one has not made the effort.

 “Reading a book is only the first step in the relationship. The contents of someone’s bookcase are a part of his /her history like an ancestral portrait.”-  Anatole Bryand

Do make the effort to enrich your history!

Communication in the Family - II - Relational Names

My mother, used to being addressed as Didi , Mausi, Peddamma, Kaaki and even the generic "Aunty" of the present day, was aghast when she reached US because no one younger than her had dared to call her by the first name until she reached Boston.

Everyone who has been abroad will attest to the fact that people address each other by the first name once they have crossed the formal stage of relations. Slowly we Indians have begun to imbibe this practice. In the past the husbands were always referred to by wives as "munni ke pithaji" or "avanga'' ; elder brothers were referred to as Bhaiyya or its variation in North and Anna in South while younger brothers were referred to as bhai or thambi respectively. The first name may be attached to the honorific title and someone may be referred to as Raju bhaiyya or Sonu Bhai. These titles were available for every relationship in the family and elders in the family used to insist on their being used. A little sister calling her elder brother by first name can surely not have as much respect for him as when she is trained to call him Bhaiyya and the very title implies a privilege and a responsibility. In our country we were trained to address even our servants by titles like Maasi, Kaka and so on and taught to respect them for their age and experience.

Unfortunately the dropping of these titles in our daily conversation slowly erodes the respect due to elders in our communication. Children should therefore be trained from childhood to address each other by honorific titles in order to help them understand the limits of etiquette in communication. Once these respectful titles are used, communication will automatically improve. A husband who is called by his first name by his wife may be easily bullied by her as shown in the Reliance advertisement. The title alerts both 'caller' and the 'called' about their role and responsibility in the communication process.

So let us revive the tradition of addressing each other by the honorific family titles to improve bonding and communication in the family.

Communication in the Family - I

We live in Information Age and communication is the moola mantra of relations with others in public life. Everyone from the chaaywala on the pavements to the CEO of the Corporate Organization works hard to improve their communication skills but forget all those tips and techniques when they enter their homes. Why does this happen?

Every one of us has a 'private face' that we wear at home and a 'public face' that we wear outside the home.We take it as our birth right and prerogative to behave “naturally” and not"hypocritically" when at home. We rarely stop to think about how this affects the family members and our relationship with them.

Relationships in the family are the most important bond in one's life. They provide meaning to our life and inspire us to reach higher levels of personal and professional success. Family members of all generations support us and help us to move forward and onwards. They protect us from loneliness and provide an oasis where we can be ourselves. "Being ourselves" does not mean that we show only our negative side. Effective Communication skills help to lubricate relationships and strengthen them while poor communication hurts people and breaks relationships isolating individuals.

The first step to improved communication in the family is to show that we are concerned about our family members. Here are a few tips to improve communication in the family.

• Address each other by relational titles like anna, bhaiyya etc.
• Cultivate patience and tranquility
• Yield when someone is angry
• Exhibit pleasant behaviour and personality
• Trust each other
• Co-operate with all family members
• Demonstrate empathy for each other
• Avoid retaliation when someone blames wrongly
• Avoid nagging
• Accede to elders and men